Gloom and Doom

Well, we're back to the dark season... and in the weeks ahead the days will go so short that I'll start to wonder if they even started. 

When we moved across the country from Maine to Washington I had thought that the weather would be similar... I mean both states are kind of located way up there in the tippy-top corners of the US.  But no, Washington (at least where we live) is much more mild with little shifts in the temperature, but huge shifts with the amount of sunlight we get -  in comparison to Maine.  We get a bad rep for being rainy, but really it's just super drizzly starting about now (September) through to the spring.  Once we hit November there will be days when the sky seems to go dark by 4:00P.

Now that I've properly depressed everyone, I'm desperately trying to figure out how I'm going to keep my energy level up this year while the weather encourages everyone to walk around in comfy sweat pants and never quite crawl out of bed.

I'm stocked up on Vitamin D... popping my 2000 IU's daily since there's zero chance my skin will be making any with the sun not making appearances for weeks at a time.

I even started taking it earlier this year, ordered up my first bottle about 3 weeks ago now.  I feel better... maybe it's all in my head... but who cares if I feel like I have more energy then I'm all for it.  I snag mine off Amazon.  Have you ever used their Subscribe & Save thing?  So you go on their website, you look around for stuff you would normally grab at the grocery store or a Walmart/Target store, stick it in your cart and then decide how frequently you need to get more (it ships as frequently as once a month).  I love it for a couple of reasons. 

1. It's cheaper!  Hello!  I hate giving away my money when I don't have to.  So I just make sure I've got 5 or 6 items coming each month and I save an extra 15% off the price... and BTW the price is already cheaper than Walmart's prices, so double bonus!
2. I don't have to think about it.  I am notorious for getting to snag the paper towels or toilet paper when I'm grocery shopping.  And let me tell you, it's horrible to be the one who finds out you've used the last square and there's no backup supply.
3. My shopping trips are super quick now... and that is an incredibly great thing especially when you're a military wife (whose husband is constantly deployed) who is having to make trips to the grocery store with a pair of insatiable elementary school-age boys!  Grah!  At this point I really just have to hit up the chicken, meat and dairy sections of the store and I can head home - because I have our toiletry products being delivered by Amazon, and I get a weekly produce delivery from a local organic farm - genius!

Wow, I totally went off on a tangent there... back to the task at hand - figuring out how to keep energy levels up while the dark season creeps in.  A couple years ago I had some nursing aid at my doctor's office tell me I should put in daylight light bulbs.

To preserve your sanity, please don't do this!  Maybe this would work well for a desk lamp, or for the occasional light bulb here and there, but my kitchen has approximately 12 recessed lights and replacing all of these with daylight flood bulbs was not only a little expensive for an experiment, but also created the worst lighting ever!  It was bright, that's for sure.  But bright in a sterile, operating room, going to perform brain surgery... and then later make dinner... kind of way.  It was super irritating.  It reminded me of being in a Walmart.  Do those lights make you feel pissed off and angry too?  So lesson learned.  Won't be doing that again.

 

Exercise seems like a good way to keep the energy levels up, so I'll be making a point of getting in the habit of heading over to the gym - as outdoor exercise becomes infrequent.

 

Anyone have any other ideas or things they resort to when the days get super short?

why oh why do I do what I do...

From time to time people jokingly mention how excessive my activity level is.  My favorite remark is that if I'm not burning the candle at both ends and twice in the middle I must be on my death bed.  But to be honest, I'm just one of those people that really likes to be busy.  This doesn't mean I'm incapable of sitting back and relaxing.  I do that too.  I will sit on my back deck and watch my boys run and jump in the pool, or we'll go camping and leave all technology behind.  But on a day-to-day basis I like to keep in motion.

I think this has always been the case for me.  When we moved to the west coast it seemed to get worse.  Our move to Whidbey Island, Washington was a result of the Navy base in Brunswick, Maine closing.  We were fortunate to be able to choose such a picturesque spot to call home, but I found myself missing all my friends and family.  I hadn't moved anywhere with the military, and really hadn't been outside of Maine, aside from my first three years of life in New York and then a short stint in Keene, New Hampshire for my Dietetic Internship.

So here I sat without my usual Thursday night of dance classes (and the dinner and beer afterwards), no shifts at Joshua's Tavern, and no sporadic days of work at Parkview Adventist Medical Center to cover for the regular Dietitian.  I was bored.  I hate bored.  "Only boring people get bored".  I was lonely too.  I hate lonely.  I tried to make friends, but I honestly stink at meeting new people.  It irritates me the amount of small talk you have to endure just to get to a point where you can figure out whether you want to spend any real time with these new people.  What a waste!  Over the years, incidentally, I've reverted back to my old "shock and awe" campaign whereby I say something completely intimate and somewhat ridiculous when I first meet people and then judge their expression to determine whether I've scared them (no friend potential), drinking it in (friend possibility), or invite you to hang out (BFF).

So here I sat in a new location, with essentially no intimate friends, and suddenly my husband was gone.  And then he was home for a millisecond, and then he was gone again... and let's just put that theme on repeat for the past 4.5 years.  I'd like to say this is an exaggeration.  But my family was seriously starting to think I had buried my husband in the backyard because he was never to be seen.  And my friends actually started acting surprised if they heard that he was home.  If there is a short-end of any stick to be drawn, he'll get it.  I take comfort in knowing that he is just really good at his job, and of course they want him doing important things somewhere overseas - but naturally I choose to tease him about his inability to give a good blow job or his pheromones that smell of wide open prison ass being the reason they don't want him around the hangar.  Teasing is my wifely duty, one I take very seriously.  I think it's sad when marriages lack sense of humor.  Seems dull to me.

So I started doing things.  Soooooo many different things.  I didn't want to have all this time on my hands.  I didn't want to be bored and start missing my husband - because there's nothing you can do about his job demands and missing him doesn't make it any better; it just makes you angry.

We were living in a rental house at the time.  So all my tools were collecting dust.

My eldest sister was chatting with me one day.  She had recently opened up her own salon (Oasis Salon, Presque Isle, Maine) after what... 80 years working for other salons?  Jeez, she looks good for her age  ;)   and she would kill me if she read this.  She asked if I had ever made body products.  Nope.  They kind of scared me.  I had been making candles for 5 years at this point, but nobody was rubbing soy wax on their body unless they were into some kinky S&M relationship.  They scared me because I certainly didn't want to craft something that someone didn't like on their body or that made them itchy, etc.  But I also was intrigued.  I started researching.  I researched oils, butters, herbal ingredients, preservatives, cosmeceuticals, you name it.  Clearly I had the time, so why not?  In the end I crafted a few products so she could offer her clients unique products for their lavish pedicures.  But it was a new endeavor to fill up some of my time, and Uforya.com was born, with more than enough room to grow and keep me motivated.

I applied to go back to school.  I had always wanted a Master's degree but didn't think I wanted it in Nutrition.  I thought maybe a complimentary field would be better (back when I was wrapping up my Bachelor's degre) - but at this point in my life I actually wanted to continue with Nutrition and really hone my knowledge and skills in that realm.  So from September 2011 to April 2014 I was a full-time graduate student.

In February 2012 we bought our house.  Now this was my kind of project.  It was a foreclosure that was literally 1/10th of a mile from our rental.  It has been one of my favorite projects so far - certainly keeping me plenty busy as it just needed some TLC in every room, on every wall and every floor, and then some.

A few months back now, having my Master's degree under my belt, I applied for and was hired on as the Dietitian at a senior community long-term care facility.  In addition to that I also took on a few freelance writing projects, writing up reports and nutrition tips on every topic you can imagine - and some topics that were so horrifically dumb I wished I'd never agreed to them.

Bored Now?  No way!  Quite the opposite.  I've got something I could be doing at any second of any day.  Some consider me to be Type A.  Like I'm somehow neurotic and don't know how to relax.  I don't think that's quite the case.  If I want to relax I have every opportunity, and I indulge from time to time.  It just so happens that my style of coping with my husband's non-stop detachments (deployments where only portions of the squadron leave) is a little more productive than most.

I'm not mad at someone who deals with their separation by pining for their missing partner, but that's just not my style.  I don't watch tv, aside from the occasional late night show when I'm going to bed... I <3 The Soup on E!  All these reality [garbage] shows irritate me.  I hate listening to people singing on shows just to win some sort of music contract that they haven't spent years in the trenches to earn.  I don't do much pleasure reading.  I honestly hadn't read anything fiction in years because I was so wrapped up in textbooks... that is until the 50 Shades of Grey movie trailer came out and I seriously then had to indulge in that trilogy.  Holy Crap!  I mean that stuff takes "pleasure" reading to a whole new level...  but I digress.

I'm a worker.  I like to keep busy.  And when my husband is gone, I miss a little adult conversation from time to time, which is what I occasionally use my blog for - like the most ridiculous sort of diary.  I don't do it because I think people will actually read what I write - because my life is not exactly a "page-turner".  But I do secretly hope some who stumble across it might find something they could do to occupy their time if they're feeling lonely - and maybe they'll stop pinning things and starting doing these things.  Maybe they'll see some project I worked on and think they could do that too.

There is no perfect time to start your life.  Imagine if I had waited for my boys to both be in school, or for my husband to be home to support me and grant me uninterrupted time to work on my hobbies.  I'd still be waiting... and look at all that wouldn't have been accomplished... and imagine how many useless hours would have been spent sitting on the porch watching the grass grow. 

Frustrating Day

Today was a frustrating day.  I had spent the last month preparing for an open house for my business.  I really just wanted to have an occasion for people to come over, eat some food, socialize, and try out the products I've put so much work into creating.  I chose to have the event today because I wanted people to have time to settle down from the back-to-school rush.  I created an event on Facebook, because I felt like it was the easiest way to get the word out to people in this area (social media seems to be a prevalent means of communication here).  I invited the few people I knew, and asked them to pass the invite along to anyone else they thought would be interested.  13 people RSVP'd that they would come, and another 8 listed themselves as "maybe". 

With the date chosen and people indicating an interest, I knew I needed to get things in order.  I worked hard.  I created a catalog from scratch and had it professionally printed.  I meticulously assembled two dozen Pumpkin Creme Brulee pedicure sets.  I wrapped bath towels, and hand towels with raffia and placed them in wash basins so visitors could sit down and enjoy a personal pedicure while they chatted with friends.  I spent hours preparing products to have available for purchase and created a testing area where all the products could be tried out.  I cleaned for two days.  Prepared platters full of snacks.  As I look back on the month, I was busy getting things ready for today during any free moment that I was not taking care of my boys, or trying to complete work for my classes.

As I was putting food out this morning and brewing a pot of coffee, I chatted with a friend on Facebook who wanted to let me know that she wouldn't be able to make it.  Her inability to come was already assumed as she had just been blessed with a new baby boy 2 days ago, but I was grateful for the chance to hear from her and see how she was feeling.  The start of the Open House came.  The first guest to arrive was a close friend, and then another and another.  So was my day wonderful?  Of course, because I got to be surrounded by the company of three good friends whose love and support is unconditional.  We laughed and talked for hours.  But where was everyone else?  Where were all these other people who said they were coming, that I had prepared special items for?  Was this personal?  Why did my inner-self not allow me to do this to others when clearly they had no problem doing it to me?  Even though it may not have been done intentionally to hurt me, it certainly did hurt me.  Wasn't I worthy of a message to let me know that something had come up? 

Today made me wish for my friends from Maine.  I absolutely love the few close friends that I have made here in Washington, but why has it been such a struggle to find these loving and genuine people?  The kind that would drop anything to be somewhere for you.  Why does there seem to be such a large population of people that do not consider trustworthiness and dependability to be precious character traits?  Is it something that comes with age?  No, I can't believe that because a close friend who moved away months ago had a truckload of character and she was only 25.  Tomorrow I will feel better and I will start developing my next business plan (since clearly an Open House won't work), but tonight... after all the work that I put into today's flop... I think I've earned the right to curl up in a ball and be sad for a while.

The End of an Era

I received news today that the Ron Trell Studio of Dance would not be reopening this fall.  I instantly was speechless.  I wanted to cry.  How could this be?  I know that places open and close all the time.  And I knew that Ron couldn't keep going forever, but I was so sad to hear it was over already.

I started dancing at the studio when I was 10.  I had just entered 6th grade, which is late to be starting to dance, and my mom asked if I wanted to give it a shot.  Sure!  Why not?!  I was in beginner ballet and had to start in a class with girls who were years younger, but I was okay with that.  I worked at it, learned the basic moves, and by the next year I was in ballet class with my friends and also started learning Character (like Broadway musical dance/Jazz/Hip Hop).  I loved to dance.  Was I any good at it?  Nope, but I liked doing it anyway.  I continued dancing all through middle school and through high school.  Recitals came around every other year, and on the off years we participated in a benefit show to raise money for the nearby Barbara Bush Children's Wing of the hospital.  There was something about going out on that stage and performing.  The butterflies in my stomach were intense, but I could hardly wait for my next chance to do it.  I graduated high school and continued on to college, but would return home and attend dance classes.  After college graduation I found myself back in Brunswick, feeling like I had no real direction.  My college friends were off still in college or doing other things and here I was working and finishing up my internship, but not quite knowing what to do in this adult world.  So I started taking classes again.

It was different this time around.  Ballet and Character had a different spot in my life when I was younger.  I liked to perform, but the work ethic wasn't there, nor the desire to make a huge fool of myself.  Now I found myself wanting to go to class because it gave me an opportunity to push myself in a new way, and I could show off my ridiculous moves and fit right in.  I started making life-long friends on those crazy Thursday nights.  The kind of friends that are there for you on your toughest day and to remind you that you deserve your shining moments.  The friends that don't disappear when you move 3000 miles away.  We would dance our asses off for hours, laughing at each other most of the time, and then follow it up with a cold beer and scrumptious food at Joshua's or Pedro O'Hara's.  And the laughs never stopped.  Somehow 10 o'clock would roll around much too quickly, and we would be heading home just counting the moments until Thursday rolled around again.  Dance class was the last place I went while we were packing up for our cross country move, and it was the only place where I really broke down and started crying about leaving all my friends and family.

Was it dance class or my friends that gave me the confidence I continue to possess today... I can't be sure.  Does it really matter?  I can only imagine how awful my girls must be feeling knowing they won't have classes to look forward to and this break from daily life that was devoted to doing something just for ourselves.  I think perhaps my personal sadness comes from the fact that when I'm able to return home for visits, I won't be able to stop in to say hello or sneak in a class.  And that down the road another girl like me, who is feeling lost, won't have this inspiring place to find herself.

Me in 1200 words or less?

As I started setting up my blog, this was my first hurdle.  How can I possibly describe my experiences and my thought process in a way that might make people feel a kinship to me?  And then how could I fit my experiences into 1200 words?  Well, I can't.  I suppose I wouldn't have started a blog if I had as little as 1200 words to say about anything.  Then I wondered who would want to read what I had to write?  I'm not a celebrity or the CEO of a major company.  Just a regular girl.  I have two boys, ages 3 and 5 (which I'm sure will provide a large amount of material for me to blog about).  My husband of 6 years is on active duty in the Navy and presently deployed.  I am the owner/operator of West Road Soy Candles as well as Uforya Body.  I was raised in MidCoast Maine and attended the University of Maine where I received my degree in Nutrition.  After graduation I worked as a Dietitian for 7 years and bartended on the weekends (which is how I met my husband).  I currently reside in Washington State and am about to embark on my Master's in Nutrition program in two weeks (eeeek!).

Wow, so I guess I have a little bit of a resume.  So what can you expect from a blog written by me?  I'll be honest.  There really isn't anything I won't discuss.  Takes a lot to make me blush and I haven't come across many topics that I shy away from.  My primary purpose for the blog was a daily outlet for me.  With my husband gone, I find that I observe a lot of different things over the course of a day and then have no one to share them with - preK boys don't want to listen to what I have to say unless I use the word "poop" a lot.  I would like to empower other military spouses to be strong individuals while still being great supporters of their loved ones.  I want to help people who want to take something they love to do and create their own small businesses (love a good entrepreneur).  I want to share my quick wit so that others can find the humor in every situation, because anyone who knows me is well aware that I can't take anything seriously.  Finally, I want to talk maybe just a little here and there about Nutrition, because it is a big interest of mine. 

Well, I think that's a good start.  Doesn't really let you know all that much about me, but I like a little mystery.