Parking was tight when we pulled in, but I left enough room on either side for the trucks parked there to get in and out. We managed to get ourselves out of the trailblazer without touching anyone's vehicle, which is tough to do when you've got a sweet ghetto booty like mine. So we picked up a few things at the cheap supermarket and we were making a stop at the car before heading across the lot to visit K-Mart, when I noticed a note on my windshield. Someone who must have been parked near us saw a gentleman in the truck to our right throw his door into the side of our car and thought he would let me know the guys vehicle and license number. I thought this was a very nice gesture. Too bad the man who did the damage didn't feel the need to leave the note because he wouldn't have had to live the rest of his day with a guilty conscience. For all he knew my car could have been a really sweet SUV, as opposed to a nicely polished pile of poop with about 4 layers of touch of paint in the same spot he scuffed.
I had plenty of time to inspect the new eye sore on the car door as both the boys felt the need to drop their pants and pee in the parking lot. My oldest went first and as he was wrapping up his river, he quickly pulled up his pants and bent over to pick something up. Yup... candy. He had spotted what looked like a green fruit snack in the parking lot and was about to give it some leniency with regards to the 5-second rule. I guess since I've already begun to describe how disgusting little boys are you can easily imagine one of them thinking that it would be okay to eat the treat. The picture below describes quite clearly why my cat-like reflexes kicked in and blocked him from snagging it. What exactly was it that made him think this was a good choice? Am I not feeding him enough? Did the man who slammed his door into our car leave this here? And did my 5-year-old honestly believe that just because the pee hadn't dribbled under the fruit snack that it was still a viable snack?
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