Peeing your pants is not cool

I don't care what you say, Billy Madison, peeing your pants is definitely not cool.  Although if it was, then I would have been "the coolest", and amongst my friends you pretty much had to be a pants pee'er to get into our cool gang.  Alright, I'm lying about entrance to the cool group, but we certainly had many good laughs about our accidents.  And in case you were not yet aware, I'm not shy about talking about... anything!  Do I care that you now know that I peed my pants?  Nope!  Because if you ever had a conversation with me, I'd tell you all about it.  I'm a walking after-school special right here.

My journey with stress incontinence (peeing your pants when you cough, sneeze, or run) began when I squeezed out my first baby.  Yes, you could say that I pretty destroyed myself with that experience.  I recall laying in my hospital bed, recovering and thinking to myself that I should get up to go to the bathroom.  So I got out of bed and stopped to take a long peek at my new little monkey.  Suddenly I realized that I had to pee NOW!!  I started waddling to the bathroom, as you have to walk that way with the enormous diaper you wear after delivering, and commented to my husband that, "I'm peeing right now and I can't stop!!"  He thought this was hilarious, and has shared the story with all kinds of expectant parents.  My ability to control the pee got better as time went by.  I did my kegel exercises like crazy, but still had trouble when it came to jumping in dance class or attempting to jog.  If I felt a big sneeze coming on... look out!  And if I saw a trampoline all I really saw was soggy pants.  It was literally awful to be unable to get a grip on something that I thought I had mastered before kindergarten.

After my second baby came along, I decided to look into physical therapy.  I had heard that if your control muscles are weak enough, they will give you a "device" that's inserted into your "lady business" and then it gives you a little stimulation to encourage your muscles to contract.  Literally does a kegel for you.  Hello!  Sign me up!  Insurance will now pay for a vibrator??  Poor me, my muscles were too strong to show a need for this device, so I was stuck with more kegels and routine appointments to help my pelvis align correctly.  Did it help?  Well, in dance class I could now do leaps to the left with my better aligned body, but landing was still sketchy.  I gave up.  I had resigned myself to the fact that I would have to wear Depends, or a huge maxi pad, every time I wanted to go for a run.   It was my heel striking the pavement that caused the peeing, which wouldn't have been a big deal if I didn't want to be active... but I WANTED TO BE ACTIVE!!


I set up a routine check-up at the OB/GYN office and decided to inquire about a bladder sling surgery.  The surgery is supposed to lift your bladder back up to where it had been and hold it there, like you're putting it in a nice hammock.  The doctor informed me that a pessary might be a good starting point.  He also said that if enough damage had been done, then all the kegels in the world weren't going to help!  A pessary is like a rubber ring that you insert and pops into place just above your pubic bone and it pushes your bladder back up.  It also helps clamp down on your urethra a little.  So with my bladder back in place and a little extra leakage control on the urethra, I went for my first run in 5 years without peeing my pants.  It was as if the clouds had parted, and angels were singing to me while I ran.  Was I completely dry at the end?  Nope!  I sweat like a farm animal when I run, but at least it wasn't pee!  Do you pee your pants?  You don't have to tell me.  Most people are more shy about the topic, but according to webmd, 13.7% of women suffer with this on a daily basis - and it only gets worse as we get older.  Call your doctor today!  Don't deal with this for another moment when you don't have to.  I wouldn't advise running to the doctor's office as we know what happens when we do that, but perhaps afterwards you can celebrate on a trampoline.